Whenever I take a few seconds to think about it, I remember that I already graduated high school 6 years ago, and college 2. This summer, I turn 25. I have a bunch of stuff under my belt, but a lot more to put there. I was thinking about what’s happened over the last 6 years, which ended in me saying, “Wow, it’s already been that long since then? I made it through all that?”
I’ve learned a lot, but I also know I’m still learning. However, I wanted to share some important things I have come to realize that I wasn’t so aware of before I had that “Aha!” moment.
Here are 8 things I’ve learned ever since I left high school:
It’s okay to be single
At one point I thought having a boyfriend, or at least a guy I was talking to, was necessary. And I do believe that people go through those stages where they feel they just have to be with someone all the time. But after a not-so-happy ending to a relationship, I realized that it really is okay to be single and just focus on you. It gives you room to grow, to learn, and to discover the person you are. I’m not saying you can’t do that in a relationship because when with the right person because you most certainly can. But people also need to experience life on their own. If looked at from the right perspective, being single doesn’t have to be that bad.
It’s okay to leave college still unsure of what you want to do.
I’ve always been concerned about what it is I want to do with my life. I have never known for sure, and guess what? It’s been two years since I received my bachelor’s degree and I’m still not sure. But things are okay. I have a job and while it may not be my career, it’s something to get me going. I’m slowly gathering up the pieces and putting them together. I’m not saying it’s easy because I’ll be the first one to say that it’s incredibly frustrating and can be difficult. There are days when I feel lost, but I have to keep reminding myself that it really is okay.
Do what you want, but do it for yourself.
I’m one of those people who worries about pleasing everyone else except for the most important person: myself. I know I’m not the only one either. I’ve always been that way and I’m sure there’s going to be a part of me that always will be. However, I need to start doing things because it’s good for me and it’s what makes me happy. If I’m not happy, then things won’t be fun. I also need to learn to start saying no, which I think coincides with doing what I want for myself.
I’m slowly starting to learn to make decisions based on what is best for me. It’s important for me to be able to do so, but that also goes for everyone else. We weren’t put on this earth just to please other people. We need to make lives for ourselves as well.
You don’t need a lot of friends.
I can definitely say my group of friends has gotten smaller ever since high school. But that’s life, and that’s okay. You meet new people, and those who did stick around, are the ones who are most important. You don’t need the ones who kick you to the curb or bring drama to your life; it’s just not worth it.
Having a large number of friends doesn’t define your life. When you’re 75 years old looking back over the years, is the amount of friends you had or how popular you were going to matter? Is it really the most important thing you focus on in life? No. And you know what… It shouldn’t be either.
Family is everything.
I’ve had a solid family life and I’ve been close with them. However, during my sophomore year of college I just clung to them like static. I found absolute solace in them, always spending time with them, never missing out on a family event.
When my relationship had ended, when I had isolated myself from my friends, I realized my family was the ones I could hold onto. I knew they would be my backbone no matter what. They didn’t ask questions, they didn’t invade my space, they were just there and that was perfect for me.
Sometimes it’s best to just go with the flow.
I used to feel like everything in my life needed a plan. I needed to find the right person at this age, be married by this age, and have my life put together by this age. But of course, what you planned out for yourself doesn’t always go the way you hoped or expected. And again, that’s okay.
Everything is constantly changing and no matter how hard we try, we can’t always control whether or not it goes our way. And sometimes it really is good to just take a step back, breathe, and let things happen.
Maybe everything does happen for a reason.
I used to be wary of this concept. Even though I’m not 100% there, I do feel more accepting of it. I’ll admit that it does get hard to believe this saying when it comes to things like my career and not knowing what I want to do. But then I try to turn it around and tell myself everything will work itself out with time.
Slow down and enjoy life.
This could relate to “sometimes it’s best to just go with the flow.” When we’re always worrying about how things should be, planning for things to be a certain way, we can get tunnel-vision. But like I said earlier, we just need moments to take a step back and breathe.
Life really is quick, so it’s important to carpe diem, live in the moment, and just really enjoy the awesome parts of life. Not going to lie, my head gets cloudy a lot and I’m very pessimistic, so forgetting that life is a beautiful thing can get lost for a little while. It’s important to savor all the good things that come our way, otherwise we might look back and think, “Wait, what happened there?” And we can’t turn back time to relive moments, so we have to hold onto them when they’re right in front of us.
If you have anything to add, or your own lessons you’ve learned, feel free to share! I would love to hear from you.
Xoxo
hopeinsmallcorners 